Northern Michigan Ailments (You Need to Know!)

You’ll know you are truly from Northern Michigan when you come down with one of these ailments:

Bucket Butt: A ring-shaped contusion encircling the posterior of Northern Michigan ice fishermen who forgo the soft cradle of a canvas camp chair in favor of the classically rugged and conveniently beer-, bait- and tippet-toting bucket seat. (Contusion’s severity directly proportional to posterior mass/expanse.)

Snowplow Neck: Acute stiffness and/or paralysis resulting from repetitive reverse gear-induced views through rear windshield wherein chin is temporarily locked into position in direct alignment with right shoulder. (Note: Snowplow neck frequently appears in Northern Michigan individuals bearing a critically calloused left palm—a direct result of wanton 360 degree open-palmed spins of steering wheel.)

Snowmobile Thumb: Tingling, cramping, numbness and eventual arthritic strain of first metacarpal due to excessive maintenance of high speed (aka "haul ass") while snowmobiling in Northern Michgan.

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